Why?

Just a quick post. . . I need to get something off my chest. Why is it that when a man and woman break up, most the time it is the man that easily swings back into a perfect relationship? Is it the woman with the issues? Why is it that the woman ends up more broken than the man? Or does it just seem that way? Maybe the man is broken too but hides it. Whatever it may be just confuses me and I have been putting a lot of thought into this tonight. In my past relationships I have pushed all the good men away, I stayed with the jerks and ended up getting hurt. The guys that I hurt to this day still love me. Why?! If I am as perfect as they say I am why did I push them away? I don’t regret any mistake I have ever made and I will keep that as my word. I just question myself sometimes. I don’t always get the end result. I have learned a lot from my jerk boyfriends/husband and grown so much as a woman. I think God has put me through these guys for a reason. I had to go through all that heartache for the one. I am not perfect by any means but I strive to be the best person I can be. I make mistakes just like everyone else. I am trying so hard to patiently wait for that right guy to come sweep me off my feet. I am just tired. . .tired of waiting. When does it end? When can I stop struggling to keep myself and my son on my feet. I know what I want and need in a man, I am ready to settle down, I know how much I can give. When will I ever receive that special touch before I shut my eyes at night or kiss those perfect lips when he walks in the door from a long hard day at work? I want it so badly. Patience is a virtue and time is of the essence but when will it come? I am waiting. . .I am just tired. I am ready to give my all away to a good man. God please send me that man.