Crazy Days

So lately my life has been a little well, a lot crazy. I started WORKING! Yes I said it. I am a working single mother! Woohooo GO ME!! Let me tell you. . .I have no idea how some mothers work full-time and go to school. There is no time left for the baby, and this saddens me :( But anyways. . .I work part-time. I graduated college too btw. So I work at Southeast Alabama Medical Center as a Dietary Hostess - Aide. I love like my job. It's easy. The things I really don't like about it are the people that work with me (they seem to be really immature) and I really hate seeing people in pain everyday. It hurts. I feel so helpless with them. So it's been a big eye opener for me and my career thoughts. I did want to be a nurse. I don't anymore. I don't think I can handle the stress every day. I have enough stress to deal with in my life. I can't and won't go to work every day of my life feeling bad because I can't make people better. I don't have the energy. It may seem selfish but I need to save my energy for myself and my son. Also, I really don't want to wipe anyone's butt. LOL! I can do blood, but not guts. I can't even stand the smell, none the less looking at it. EW! Anyways, so my plans of becoming a nurse have completely gone out the window. Thank God! LOL! So I sit here and debate. . .I go back and forth. What do I want to be? What kind of schedule do I want to work? I don't want to ever be on call really. I don't want to work holidays or the weekends. So I am thinking of either doing some kind of pediatric therapy such as OT or PT, or else staying in the office setting, kind of behind the scenes. I have an associate's degree in health administration so maybe that's where I need to stay. Or not. I don't know. I am stuck. I haven't totally decided what I will be happy doing. I don't need to decide yet. I am taking a break from school. So yea. . .back to work. Work is easy. I do miss Noah. He is progressing in so many ways yet he could be doing so much better if I wasn't working. My schedule is just now starting to become a little more set so we can actually spend time together and I can work with him again. At first it was really hard on both of us since we are so use to being together 24/7. It gets easier day by day though. Some days I miss him more. I look forward to getting off and him waiting for me. He see's me and smiles. It lights up my world. Then I get the biggest hug ever! :) Aw! I love my Noah! hehehe!

More to make my life a little more crazier is we are MOVING! Not out of Alabama just yet, haha. Just to a new apartment. I haven't completely decided to which one yet. But I gave our 30 days notice today to leave the housing authority. WOOHOO!! Starting another chapter of our life. This mommy is moving up and out of government help slowly but surely. WITHOUT CHILD SUPPORT! WHEW! It's been hard and stressful but I am doing it, and I am doing it all by myself!

I do have to give props to my mom. She is the best. And has been by my side more than I needed her. She gives me advice even when I could care less to hear it. I may take it or I may not. I like to learn on my own. Most importantly she is my mother and loves me and my child unconditionally and I am so thankful for her. She also watches Noah for me while I work. BIG THANKS TO HER! Love you mom! More props to my friends. Jami Fergie, you have lifted me up and made me more open to things I never wanted to think or do. You unlocked my fun and crazy door. You found the key. It has been lost for a long time. So thanks. And thanks for always being there to talk to and give me the best advice a friend could give. We share something so great, no two friends can say they share. Our sons have Down Syndrome. The most amazing little guys ever. You do so well with what you have been through and helping me too. I love you. Props to my son, Noah. He is my rock and pushes me to make myself get through whatever I need to get through. He is the reason for all things I do. And I love him so much. There aren't words to explain it. Also, there is one more person. This person has got me through so much. With my son, with myself emotionally and mentally, and pushed me to do better even though this person may have brought their self down. Huge thanks to Josh, my boyfriend of 2 years off and on. He and I have been through things two people should never go through. We both put each other through misery as well. But HE is the main one to hold me up when I am down. HE was there for me through out my divorce, my pregnancy, and is still there for me. I will not say nor do I care to hear people put him or myself being around him down or talk negatively about him or us. People know half of what has happened to us. People judge him, us. I don't care what he has done to me, or other people in the past. HE is the one the puts a smile on my face. HE is the one that cleans my house when I am to tired. HE is the one that made me want to start going back to church. HE is the one that takes care of my son when I just want to sleep. HE is the one that I can talk to, tell anything to. And I have. HE has been there. So enough said. Big props to him and thanks babe for always being my helping hand and my shoulder even when I made you feel like shit. I love you and always will no matter what happens between us. No one will ever fully understand but it's ok because me and you do. That's all that matters except for God. And he knows the real truth. So Amen.

And that felt good to finally get out. Anyways. . .before I finish this blog I want to say that I am happy with where I am in life. I am so blessed to have a job, be moving into a better place on my own, and to have friends and family that care and to be there for me. I couldn't of done it without you. Most of all thanks for God making it all possible. Many more good things are coming my way. I can feel it. Goodnight and God Bless.