I am going to sum up everything in a few short paragraphs. There is a lot going on and. . . .well here it goes. First of all, COURT! We went to court. TJ paid no mind to Noah AT ALL, which wasn't surprising at all. The judge ordered him to pay what he owes me, which is about $2000 before June 15 or he is going to jail. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. So there you have it. In plain black in white. Finally some one is doing/saying something. Finally he will get what he deserves. Maybe this will teach him he made something and has a responsibility.
When we went to Florida for court, Noah got a chance to meet his cousin Ellie. TJ's sister, Katie agreed to have us over to her house. So Noah and Ellie played for about 2 hours. They absolutely LOVED each other and they played so well!
Work is going ok. Same as always though. I hate it. I hate the hours. But as they say it could be worse. I am just thankful I have a job and can pay my bills. I still want something better though. You know how it goes.
Noah is talking sooo much lately. He is saying about 10 words which is great! I am so so proud of him! He also started officially finger feeding himself. It was a little hard for me to just let him go that much, make a mess, and lose the little bit of baby that I did. But I can't express how proud of him I am. He is learning so much. He LOVES music and anytime I sing to him. He LOVES to dance. He recently started to try and sing his abc's. He picks up things so well and is such a fast learner. He really can do anything anyone else does. He just needs to be shown "how" to do it.
I have reached a point in my life where I am really "lost", I guess that's what you can call it. I don't know what I want to be. Or where my career is going? I thought I knew what I wanted to do but working at a hospital has really changed my perspective on the health care field. I want to have a job that I am happy with. I don't want the same routine every day. That gets boring. I don't want to hate my job because I will just be miserable and I won't live like that. Why pay for an education and work, as well as be away from my son for X amount of hours and make myself miserable? You know! A lot of people hate their jobs and I won't do that. I refuse. I want weekends off and holidays. So I am really trying to find myself. I keep thinking about all the things I enjoy, like writing or helping people. But I need to go deeper. I know who I am and what I came from and I know what I want in life. But who am I going to be?? A journalist? Some kind of investigator? A counselor? An event planner? A cook? I just have no idea.
This brings me to another "lost" part of me that doesn't know where I am going to be happiest. Definently not in Alabama. There is nothing here. Yea I know a lot of people but I need more than that. Noah needs more choices. I need good schools. And no offense to southern people but I don't want my son talking with this "southern slang", I just can't stand it. It doesn't sound good. It's very unprofessional. But that's my opinion. I love the beach and Noah loves the beach. So I lean to moving some where in the panhandle of Florida. But then again, all my family lives in Kansas and I would love to be close to them. I just am not sure how much more I would see them and all that. I am terrified of change, I hate change matter of fact. And I know sometimes I need to take chances and leap, trusting that God is going to take care of me. But I just don't know what's best for us right now. I am so lost and confused. I need to research and I can't seem to find enough time to look at every aspect the I need to consider. A change is much needed in our lives but I just don't know which way to go. . .I pray God helps me make the right decision.
And that's pretty much it lately. Oh I got a new car and am loving it but besides that, I'm just lost and I need help.
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