No place like home, No place like home

Last time I blogged I had some changes in my life. Some were particularly good and some bad. Well. . . .to say the least a lot has happened between now and then. First of all, I do not live at the same trailer. We were there for not even a month. I did enjoy it but I guess that’s not where God intended us to be. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. Tomorrow is my last day at work. I have put in my two-week notice. I am quitting. Though I put up with a lot of drama at work, I have to say I will really miss some of those girls. I am currently single too. Happy and sad about that. Let’s just say everything will work out. It’s all part of God’s plan and I just have to follow the right path. Josh and I obviously are not meant for one another. There has been a lot of hurt in our relationship. There was no trust and we were to the point we were both unhappy. Through all the hurt I will continue to care about him, I was with him for 3 years off and on. Sometimes I tell myself I will get over that. And I will, it will take time. I do miss him and it still hurts but I stay strong for myself and my little man. I don’t want Noah to see me hurt so I do hide it but I will be ok. I have lots of other things to fill my mind and worry about right now.

Being said that we are moving to Kansas. I think it’s time for us to leave. It will be easier for me to let go. And I need my family. I need to be closer and I want the ability to see them regularly. Not just once a yr or every 2 yrs. That’s not enough. Also, Noah will have more opportunities there. I plan on completely starting over. I have sold almost all my furniture. I want to leave most of the memories behind. I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t need concrete things reminding me of past lovers. So we are starting over. I am trying to convince myself that change is good. I just hate to think I have to do all that I have done in the past 2 or 3 years over again. Thinking about it exhausts me. I don’t have any plans for when we get there. All I know is I am going back to school at CTU Online for my Bachelors in Business w/ a concentration on Healthcare Management at the end of this month. I don’t want to work. Not right away anyway. I miss Noah. We need each other most right now. And I can’t just move him into a whole new environment, not really knowing anyone and leaving to go to work right away. I can’t and will not do that. He would be so lost and confused. I mean can you imagine??

So I am taking things day by day. That’s all I can do. I can’t worry about those things. Everything will be ok. It’s just going to take time.

Xoxo to me and Noah!