I was talking to one of my family members tonight and she brought up something I may have not ever brought up or talked about. Not honestly and open at least. So here I am to tell how my life is. Really! The most important topic there is to talk about are going to be talked about.
I am all alone raising my child. I am not only a single mother, but I am a single mother of a special needs child. I have day to day struggles just as everyone else does but having a child with special needs and trying to meet those needs all by myself can be difficult. Trust me there are many good points as to being a single mother but it's hard. Almost to hard. Sometimes I feel like I am just going to break. I just want to hide in a dark corner far away from everything and everyone. It's all so overwhelming. I have to work, take Noah to therapy and doctor's appointments (take into account this means his regular doctor, the ENT, his cardiologist, the eye doctor, the neurologist, the dentist, and more), take myself to doctor appointments (since I am the only parent in this family I have to make sure I am healthy and taken care of too), clean the house, take care of the car, work with Noah on OT, ST, PT, as well as teach him regular things. Like I said it's overwhelming.
Again there are good things about being a single parent such as having the only say in what goes about how to raise the child. This is what I like the most. The second most thing I enjoy is getting to be the main person he depends on. He knows I will always be there and I love him unconditionally.
Noah's biological father has given up all rights to him and even denies Noah being his child. I have filed to collect child support and have yet to receive a cent in a year. May 16th we finally go to court. I pray this jerk gets what he has coming and learns a lesson.
Updates coming soon. . .going to bed
April 25, 2012
April 9, 2012
Almost There
So not that I'm counting or anything but in 11 days 2 years ago I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I can't believe it has been 2 years. It's flown by and it seems it's not slowing down unfortunately. My baby is not much of a baby anymore. He is going to officially be a toddler! Am I saying that right?! Toddler?! What?! No way! YES WAY! Two years old, wow! It's just amazing to me. So much has happened. He has grown so much. From the little 5 lb 6 oz armful of joy Noah has grown into a little boy. He weighs 20 lbs now. As his mother, I see how far he has come in the past 2 years. He is so smart, has formed his own ways of doing things and has developed his own little personality. I wouldn't change anything about him. I love him so much. I cherish the little things he does and says. I praise him for each and every one of his many milestones he reaches.
Can I tell you he finally says "Ma-Ma"!! Yep. I am Ma-Ma. Ha Ha. I love it. It's great to hear him call me and want me. It gives me a feeling that I have never felt before, almost like butterflies with a first love but so much better.
When I go out and about, I always get praises on how handsome Noah is. People ask me how old he is. They think he is about 9 or 12 mths old. Crazy huh? Then I tell them he is almost 2 years old and I get this look like WHAT!?!?!? People don't know. People have no idea. My son was born with Trisomy 21. I love him for the way he is. I get comments like "he is so tiny" or "awww". What does "awww" mean in this case? How should I take that?
On a day to day basis Noah is just like any other toddler :) Really in all honesty he is like a 1 yr old. He is delayed physically, mentally, and cognitively. He doesn't speak as well as a typical 2 yr old should speak. I walk through the stores and I see how people are with their children. Some are mean, hateful, and have no respect for their children. And some are very affectionate and playful with their children. But I think, do they love their children like I love Noah? Do they take their children for granted? I love every minute I get with Noah. Yes, he gets on my nerves sometimes but you know what I would do anything in the world for him and I love him to death. He makes me get up and move forward every day. But when I see these other parents in the store or where ever I see them, I am thinking to myself "Do they worry about their kids the way I worry about Noah?" Probably not. Half of them have not experienced that dreading deep pain or the sense of worrying because their children have to undergo a major surgery or may have a serious medical condition. These parents have no idea. Anything can happen. I am so blessed to have a beautiful little boy with a medical condition. It has taught me so many things and I see life so different. I mean I just don't get it.
People tell me that I don't want Noah to start walking yet. And that I don't know what's in store for me. Believe me when I say it but I DO! I know my son better than anyone else. He is a busy bee! He moves from one thing to the next in less than 2 minutes and tries to make every mess possible in a short amount of time. When he starts walking it will be worse but I am ready! I have been ready! I am so so stoked to see him walk. I am so excited for him to have the ability to walk. Some children don't get the ability to walk, ever! I want Noah to walk. I push him and push him. I hate it when people tell me that I don't want him to walk. They might not mean it as much as I take what they say to heart, but I take it to heart! That hurts me. This is what I mean by people not really knowing how it is to have a child with a disability. They are blinded and I am sorry for them. They should open their eyes and stop being so deceitful. Why are people like that? Be thankful.
And that's all I have for now. I will update more after Noah's birthday. Later Gators!
Can I tell you he finally says "Ma-Ma"!! Yep. I am Ma-Ma. Ha Ha. I love it. It's great to hear him call me and want me. It gives me a feeling that I have never felt before, almost like butterflies with a first love but so much better.
When I go out and about, I always get praises on how handsome Noah is. People ask me how old he is. They think he is about 9 or 12 mths old. Crazy huh? Then I tell them he is almost 2 years old and I get this look like WHAT!?!?!? People don't know. People have no idea. My son was born with Trisomy 21. I love him for the way he is. I get comments like "he is so tiny" or "awww". What does "awww" mean in this case? How should I take that?
On a day to day basis Noah is just like any other toddler :) Really in all honesty he is like a 1 yr old. He is delayed physically, mentally, and cognitively. He doesn't speak as well as a typical 2 yr old should speak. I walk through the stores and I see how people are with their children. Some are mean, hateful, and have no respect for their children. And some are very affectionate and playful with their children. But I think, do they love their children like I love Noah? Do they take their children for granted? I love every minute I get with Noah. Yes, he gets on my nerves sometimes but you know what I would do anything in the world for him and I love him to death. He makes me get up and move forward every day. But when I see these other parents in the store or where ever I see them, I am thinking to myself "Do they worry about their kids the way I worry about Noah?" Probably not. Half of them have not experienced that dreading deep pain or the sense of worrying because their children have to undergo a major surgery or may have a serious medical condition. These parents have no idea. Anything can happen. I am so blessed to have a beautiful little boy with a medical condition. It has taught me so many things and I see life so different. I mean I just don't get it.
People tell me that I don't want Noah to start walking yet. And that I don't know what's in store for me. Believe me when I say it but I DO! I know my son better than anyone else. He is a busy bee! He moves from one thing to the next in less than 2 minutes and tries to make every mess possible in a short amount of time. When he starts walking it will be worse but I am ready! I have been ready! I am so so stoked to see him walk. I am so excited for him to have the ability to walk. Some children don't get the ability to walk, ever! I want Noah to walk. I push him and push him. I hate it when people tell me that I don't want him to walk. They might not mean it as much as I take what they say to heart, but I take it to heart! That hurts me. This is what I mean by people not really knowing how it is to have a child with a disability. They are blinded and I am sorry for them. They should open their eyes and stop being so deceitful. Why are people like that? Be thankful.
And that's all I have for now. I will update more after Noah's birthday. Later Gators!
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